Saturday, April 18, 2015

I Am... - September 6, 2012

I Am... Love, Grace, Worth, Patience, Humility, Lord, Healing, Light, Truth, Mercy, Life, Rest, Perfection, Power, Eternal.  I Am a mystery...  The Alpha and Omega... The Beginning and the End.  I Am... hugs, kisses, tears, smiles, laughter, joy, richness, struggles, victory... The Almighty... in everything... all around you.  I Am... the only one, the only thing that can fill a void in your life and in your heart... the love that so many long for... the comfort that wraps its arms around you... the peace that fills your heart in times of chaos and calms your mind when life gets overwhelming.  I Am Fulfilling and Satisfying, Blessing, Everlasting.  I Am strength in times of weakness.  I Am... your Father, Friend, Husband, Lover, Teacher, Keeper, Companion, Provider, Rescuer, Healer, King, Deliverer, Protector, Living Water, Shield, Armor... the One... the One you can run to, cry to, hide within, count on, lean on, find strength within... the One you can trust to hear you and answer you always.  I Am your ONE TRUE LOVE.  I Am Promise, Peace, Relationship, Forgiveness, Desire, Righteous, Gentle, Worship, Complete, Freedom, History, Sacrifice, and Love.  I Am the Creator. I Am Living and Active, Kind and Faithful.  I Am so much more than you could EVER IMAGINE or even begin to wrap your mind around.  I Am... The Way.  I Am the impossible made possible.  I Am PERFECT, unfathomable, indescribable, infinite... I Am YOUR God... and I LOVE YOU!!!

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9/6/12 -- Sharina Marie Schaller

AM & FM: Against Me & For Me - February 27, 2012

I read this this morning and I really wanted to share it.  Some of you who know me, know the struggles I have when it comes to feeling "good enough" or "measuring up".  I've been reading through the book "A Confident Heart" by Renee Swope and it has been SUCH a blessing... I'd encourage anybody to read through it!!!  This cut to the core and made my heart smile this morning as I read it :)  I pray it does the same for you!!
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THINK --> FEEL --> LIVE
-When doubt comes against me, saying I'm not good enough, I will rely on the truth that God is for me!  He says I'm fearfully and wonderfully made; all of His works are wonderful and I am one of them (Psalm 139:14).
-When doubt comes against me, saying I'm weak and all alone, I will live in the truth that God is for me!  I can be strong and courageous because the Lord my God is with me.  He will never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6).
-When doubt comes against me, saying I shouldn't get my hopes up because I'll only be disappointed, I will depend on the truth that God is for me!  He has plans for my life that are filled with purpose and hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
-When doubt comes against me, saying I'm not good enough for a certain role or position, I will remember that God is for me!  He says I am His masterpiece, created to be new in Christ so that I could do good things He planned long ago (Ephesians 2:10).
-When doubt comes against me, saying nobody really loves me, I will hold on to to the truth that God is for me!  He loves me so much that He gave His only Son to live and die for me, and He chose me to be adopted into His family (John 3:16; Ephesians 1:4-5).
-When doubt comes against me, saying I can't do something because it's too hard, I will cling to the truth that God is for me!  He says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).
~"A Confident Heart" by Renee Swope~

Craziness Known as Life - October 9, 2011

What a weekend it has been.  What a stretch the past month has been.  What a battle life has been.  In the mix of good and bad there is God.  In the mix of my life there has been the bad.  In the mix of my struggles there has been the good.  In the mix has been my God.  He has this tendency to humble us by whatever means He needs.  I am broken before Him, crushed, exhausted, and beaten.  God – the only One who can put together the shattered.  Put together the way God wants me to be put together, not how I imagined me or necessarily want to be put together.  Because God is the artist and I am the work of His hands, His work of art, He puts me together the way the Creator works a masterpiece.  Shattered… it is the place most have to be taken to in order to see the glory of God in life.  To some, that sounds silly, I know it did to me at first but now I see it.  Because I am powerless to defend my life and fight for myself, the only place God can get me to realize I need Him is a place of breaking me down.  That is how I could describe life lately.  Hectic, anxious, weary, and finally to the point of broken is life.  It is amazing how quickly God pieces life back together.  It is amazing how quickly He can turn a heart to look to Him.  I have seen the glimpses here and there.  I have caught a blessing and KNEW that was what it was, a blessing.  But I did not lean into His presence and His glory.  It is hard but nobody said it would be easy.  Hit like a ton of bricks it can be a crushing blow known as being humbled by God.  If I don’t humble me, God will.  He did it and it is astounding!!!  Jeremiah 17:5-10 because I have not trusted in God and it is so easy to run to somebody over God because they are visibly standing right in front of me.  I have trusted too much in “mere humans” and not enough in God.  2 Chronicles 14:11 because I am powerless to defend myself against anything in life and only God can battle for me.  I have relied on a power of my own over the power that created eternity and gave breath to life.  Deuteronomy 13:4because I have served more than God and have not been on my knees in obedience to Him when He has called.  I have not clung to Him as God but developed the “plus God” disease… my job plus God, my finances plus God, my life plus God… and nothing should be in addition to God.  It should be God alone.  And the final blow… the knock out and comfort that everything happens for a reason, God-incidence not coincidence Romans 8:28 because everything works together and happens for a purpose.  Because I couldn’t see that everything works together and my peanut brain couldn’t believe it or trust in it.  My heart strayed, turned away, and sulked until I couldn’t take it… but a shoulder to cry on was God.  He answered.  He comforted.  He gave clarity and blessing and peace and hope.  And I know.  I know that I am not alone because it is spelled out all over the Bible that God is with me wherever I am.  Joshua 1:9 because I needed to remember God is with me.  A text message taken as a sign for a listening ear… when I asked for a sign from God, when I prayed for somebody, wrestled with making a call or who to call for guidance in processing… impeccable timing but God’s plan nonetheless.  Wisdom and love given by God.  Life only given by God.  That is the craziness known as my life at this point.  A craziness blanketed in love by my God who never leaves me alone and gives me support and ears to cry to but not abuse or run to over Him.  A humbling experience when I need it most blanketed by His peace and comfort because He is God and only He can fight my battle for me… I can’t even fight for myself.  Only God because He is God.  That is enough for me.
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<p>" 5 This is what the Lord says:</p><p>   “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans,</p><p>      who rely on human strength</p><p>      and turn their hearts away from the Lord.</p><p> 6 They are like stunted shrubs in the desert,</p><p>      with no hope for the future.</p><p>   They will live in the barren wilderness,</p><p>      in an uninhabited salty land.</p><p> 7 “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord</p><p>      and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.</p><p> 8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank,</p><p>      with roots that reach deep into the water.</p><p>   Such trees are not bothered by the heat</p><p>      or worried by long months of drought.</p><p>   Their leaves stay green,</p><p>      and they never stop producing fruit.</p><p> 9 “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,</p><p>      and desperately wicked.</p><p>      Who really knows how bad it is?</p><p> 10 But I, the Lord, search all hearts</p><p>      and examine secret motives.</p><p>   I give all people their due rewards,</p><p>      according to what their actions deserve.”"</p>

~*Jeremiah 17:5-10*~

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"...O Lord, no one but you can help the powerless against the mighty! Help us, O Lord our God, for we trust in you alone..."

~*2 Chronicles 14:11*~

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"Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him."

~*Deuteronomy 13:4*~

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"This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

~*Joshua 1:9*~

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"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

~*Romans 8:28*~

A Call to Follow - August 17, 2011

Have you ever felt like you have found a calling in life... found your calling?  You found what you are called to do but what if almost everything in your current life disagrees.  Your finances, debt, health, and all but a few hand-fulls of people disagree... everything and so many people seem skeptical about that calling, telling you to pray more and offering other ideas... telling you that in your life you just do not have the resources and that it will not work out... those doubts even take over your thinking every now and then.  I go back to a question I was asked recently:  if I could do ANYTHING in this life to glorify God and knew I could NOT fail, what would it be?  My first (and quick) response, heart and mind, is that I would not be here.  I would be living somewhere in a foreign land with a visible need.  I would be living somewhere to meet a need, not of myself (although I'm sure there would be needs met), but the needs of others... Africa pops into my head first... then Haiti and I have not even been there (yet).  And then I think... if it is God's plan, it cannot fail.  Even if it is "failure" according to a human perspective, God's plan is perfect.  God is perfect.  HE DOES NOT FAIL!!!!  (That is part of what perfect is in case you did not know).

But then back to doubt.   My life currently seems to disagree with this crazy answer.  Finances, college debt, and available resources... and health... the fears that all hold me back from doing so much.  A calling so strong and clear that I finally realize if God wants it, it is what is best for my life.  While most, myself included, are skeptical, God is sure.  He knows what He is doing and what He is calling me to do... He is God after all.  Finances and college loans/debt... He has given me enough to meet those needs... it may not seem or look like much but it is enough.  Health, the scariest of all of my fears... He has taken great care and put me in great care with great support around me, helping me... shaped me up... given me new life, a breath of fresh air, a new hope... taken great care.  And resources... we may not have "enough" of them, but God has them all... He created them.  Is it enough?  Even if not all seem to agree, one does... God agrees and that is the most important thing... God is enough.  Even if I am scared out of my mind... curious as all get out but scared... God is still enough.

My initial response to this onslaught of thought:  "Maybe not now but possibly someday God".  Really Sharina?  Did I just say that to God?  Then there is this thought:  God's timing.  If He wants it and you want Him, it will happen.  It should be Him telling me and me responding... not me telling God and ignoring a call.  My response should be "whenever" not "maybe later".  If God wants it to be later, it will be later... if not then deal with it, God wants me now.  And what if it does appear that I fail according to those around me?  The response:  Man appears to fail... GOD NEVER FAILS.  He will not and cannot fail.  He is God.  God is perfect.  His plan for my life is perfect.  So even if I am a failure according to some of the people around me, a waste according to some of them, I know I am not.  When we are in God's will and following the plans He has set before us, technically we will not fail because God's plan is perfect.  If God is for me, then nothing can stop me.  God is simply enough.
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"Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God.  If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."

~*Galatians 1:10 (NLT)*~

There is Hope - August 6, 2011

The story behind the poem is in the note "My Hope" or can be found at http://wonderfullybeautifulyou.blogspot.comunder the blog called "There is a Hope".
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"There is Hope"
By: Sharina Marie Schaller
August 6th, 2011

There is a hope
Christ Jesus my Lord
His love for me
On a cross outpoured
A victory won
A hope restored
There is hope
In Jesus my Lord

He died on a cross
For me, for you
Died for captive and free
For saint and sinner too
There is hope
In Jesus my Lord

When all seems to fail
The world falls apart
Hold on to Christ Jesus
Keep Him close to your heart
There is hope
In Jesus my Lord

His mercy never ends
His grace never fails
Through trial and pain
Through fire and hail
Love, God sends
My Savior and friend
Hope can be found
In Christ Jesus my Lord

My Hope - August 6, 2011

This week has been a strange week.  Allow me to refer you to my blogs for a more in depth explanation as to why.  See 2 Timothy 1:6-8 and 1 John 4:16-19 athttp://wonderfullybeautifulyou.blogspot.com for further reference... or just keep reading and you'll figure out what I'm talking about.  On December 31, 2008 my life changed a little bit.  I was diagnosed diabetic, but that could be controlled by diet and exercise for the time being.  From that day until October 15, 2009 I lost almost forty pounds, graduated from Kansas State University, participated in my best friend's wedding, and lived in Africa for a month.  On October 15, 2009, almost two months after returning from Ghana, Africa, my life changed a little bit more.  I became a little less "normal" when I landed in the ER with extremely high blood sugars.  Something that was previously a struggle became more of a struggle the next day.  I learned to face a fear of needles when I began Insulin One, resulting in only one shot a day.  A few weeks later Insulin Two was added bringing the grand total of shots to four a day. 

My hope was fading.  "Why" was a big question and for some reason I felt as though it was my fault that I was facing this situation and difficulty in my life.  I was struggling more with my faith and my relationship with Christ was on the rocks.  Hope faded more when Doctor One told me I would probably never move off of either of the insulins... once I started, I was stuck, I would never be allowed to be "normal" again. I struggled financially with cost of diabetic supplies and prescriptions.  For the first time in my life I also had glasses.  Hope kept fading with Doctor Two and my fear of doctors and life grew a little more.  I did, however, begin to see some good.  My faith grew a little.  I had to eat healthier and make better choices.  I began praying that maybe, just maybe, God would help with this situation that seemed impossible.  I prayed for the possibilities brought by the healing power of God.  He is God after all and all things truly are possible with Him.

Hope grew and continued to grow as I felt better, became healthier, and sought Him more.  In steps Doctor Three.  Hope grows more as Doctor Three helps financially in ways I never really expected from any of my doctors.  Hope grew when almost two years after Doctor One told me I would probably never get off of either kind of insulin, Doctor Three did it:  Insulin Two is no longer being used, at least for the time being which at this point could be two weeks or maybe longer, depending on how God has it planned.  Total shots a day sits at one.  Only by the power of God.  If He wants it, He gets it.  If He plans for it to last, glory to Him.  If He has other plans and in two weeks I am back on Insulin Two, even though I may not understand the why, I understand He has a plan and a good in it.  For now, however, I will enjoy the "normalcy" of no shots before meals.  I will enjoy this time He has blessed me with, even if it may be short lived.

God is my hope and what inspires me daily to live, sing, play, and write.  He inspires my cheesy poetry... like the poem I will share with you called "There is a Hope".  God is my hope and my rock.  He cannot be defeated.  Whatever He wills is perfect, even though we may see it as imperfect.  There is a good in it and He remains our only hope in everything.
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"There is Hope"
By: Sharina Marie Schaller
August 6th, 2011

There is a hope
Christ Jesus my Lord
His love for me
On a cross outpoured
A victory won
A hope restored
There is hope
In Jesus my Lord

He died on a cross
For me, for you
Died for captive and free
For saint and sinner too
There is hope
In Jesus my Lord

When all seems to fail
The world falls apart
Hold on to Christ Jesus
Keep Him close to your heart
There is hope
In Jesus my Lord

His mercy never ends
His grace never fails
Through trial and pain
Through fire and hail
Love, God sends
My Savior and friend
Hope can be found
In Christ Jesus my Lord

Operation Africa - April 13, 2011

So I'm working on going through Operation World..... starting from the beginning and daily reading about countries with my Bible nearby. Today was part 3 of a week on Africa. It went through the "Trends to Watch" in Africa. Now, I love Africa. Been there, left a chunk of my heart there, and the rest of my heart is wrapped in an African blanket. But it is so sad when I'm reading. Lately, my trip to Africa has been on my heart. I've struggled with lately with the rather bad and selfish attitude I had when I was there. Granted, I had only accepted Christ 2 short years before going and was still growing and learning (and still am) but I can definitely say there has been more maturing in the last year of my life than there was those first 2 years. Africa just sticks in my heart. I wanted to share what I wrote this morning as a reflection from reading through trends in Africa... and partly a reflection of the past few weeks of Perspectives and some things that were said recently about a trip to Kenya taken by some friends of mine.

There is so much that we could do but so little that has been done by us. There is so much that we, as "rich Americans", Christians and non, so much we can do so why don't we do it? We live "lavish" lifestyles here even though society says some of us are "poor". We have medical needs that are met instantly if needed. Education on EVERYTHING is so readily available and we have a "stable" government that is technically not stealing from its people... at least not stealing and taking advantage of its people the way some of the governments in other countries do. We are blessed and by the "world's standards" we are free.

Man, do we take advantage of that in innocent, selfish ways. I say innocent because we don't know what it is like to be truly "poor" with political corruption destroying our homes and families.  I say innocent because we don't know what it is like to have HIV/AIDS/Malaria running rampant through our country. On average, malaria takes the life of one child every THIRTY SECONDS. Innocent because of the "religious freedom" any way you can have it... without bombing each other's churches or worrying about others storming into our cities and starting a "religious war". I say innocent because for the most part it is how we are raised, brought up, and taught in our culture and therefore we don't necessarily know any better and we don't always recognize it. I know I definitely don't.  I take my life and the way I live for granted more than I should, BUT God is showing me so much NOW from a trip to Africa that I took almost two years ago. I say selfish because we are. There is enough food available to feed every single person on the face of this planet 4.3 POUNDS of food every day, and yet there are still mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews.... grandparents.... babies.... dying of hunger every single day. More than 25,000 people die DAILY from starvation. Selfish because we could do so much and yet we do so little.

Open my eyes Lord. What can I do? Take care of the poor, impoverished people that we ignore until you open our eyes to do more. Open our hearts to shatter the "social stigma" associated with AIDs and HIVand tell the world how to take care. Provide a was for us to care for malaria ridden countries and countries corrupted by the love of power and money. Raise up people to start a revolution, laborers to work for your glory in the corrupted politics in Africa. Only you, God, can work the hearts of the "advantaged" to go and work for you good in the "disadvantaged". Sustain and strengthen them daily. Keep them safe and reach out to those who need you as a shelter. Work out your will for those people in need. What CAN I do? More than I can probably even imagine. What WILL I do? On my own, nothing. With God, I can do whatever He wants me to do because He can do anything and everything for anyone. I pray for humility. I pray that we, as a wealthy country, humble ourselves. If we don't, then the truth is, God will humble us in one way or another.

Perfection - April 5, 2011

Hebrews 9:11-15 (New Living Translation)

Christ Is the Perfect Sacrifice
   "So Christ has now become the High Priest over all the good things that have come. He has entered that greater, more perfect Tabernacle in heaven, which was not made by human hands and is not part of this created world.  With his own blood—not the blood of goats and calves—he entered the Most Holy Place once for all time and secured our redemption forever.
  Under the old system, the blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a young cow could cleanse people’s bodies from ceremonial impurity.  Just think how much more the blood of Christ will purify our consciences from sinful deeds so that we can worship the living God. For by the power of the eternal Spirit, Christ offered himself to God as a perfect sacrifice for our sins.  That is why he is the one who mediates a new covenant between God and people, so that all who are called can receive the eternal inheritance God has promised them. For Christ died to set them free from the penalty of the sins they had committed under that first covenant."

Get Out of the Boat - Mary Sutherland - March 4, 2011

This was my devotional for the morning (March 4) and it really struck something in me.  It hit me where it needed to so I thought that I would share it because it is one of those things that we all need to hear from time to time even though it is something that we "know".  A little reminder never hurt anybody and I hope this helps somebody the same way it did me today =)

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"Between three and six o'clock in the morning, Jesus came to them, walking on the water.  When his followers saw him walking on the water, they were afraid. They said, 'It's a ghost!' and cried out in fear. But Jesus quickly spoke to them, 'Have courage! It is I. Do not be afraid.' Peter said, "Lord, if it is really you, then command me to come to you on the water." Jesus said, 'Come.' And Peter left the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. But when Peter saw the wind and the waves, he became afraid and began to sink. He shouted, 'Lord, save me!' Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught Peter" ( Matthew 14: 25-31, NCV).
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Jesus and His disciples fed more than five thousand people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. Now that is what I call a miracle! The disciples not only saw the miracle Jesus performed but were the ones Jesus actually commissioned to distribute the bread and fish. Witnessing the miracles of Jesus was not a new experience for these men. In fact, I am sure they considered themselves mature, devoted and unshakable disciples. But when Jesus sent them out onto the water in a small fishing boat while He went up into the hills to pray - their faith was put to the test.

Everything was fine - the disciples' faith in tact - until the storm hit. It is easy to believe God when the skies are blue and the nets are full of fish. How strong is our faith when we are clinging to the side of a rocking boat in the death grip of a brutal storm? The disciples cried out in fear and Jesus came - at the right time and in the right way. Like the disciples, we often question God's timing and His ways. When they don't translate into methods that we can understand, we surrender our faith to the tyranny of fear. Fully devoted followers of Christ are willing to forsake the known for the unknown. They choose to trust God and walk by faith - not by sight or human logic. The response of Jesus to the disciples' fear was encouragement and a call to step out in faith and obedience. The only taker in the boat was Peter.

Matthew 14:28-29 (NCV) "Peter said, 'Lord, if it is really you, then command me to come to you on the water.' Jesus said, 'Come.' And Peter left the boat and walked on the water to Jesus."

Faith demands a willingness to give up what we can see in exchange for what we cannot see. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1 NKJV). This verse indicates a persuasion or conviction in response to unseen evidence. But just because we can't see it, does not mean it isn't there.

John Paton and his wife were missionaries in the New Hebrides Islands. One night, hostile natives surrounded the mission headquarters, intent on burning the Patons out and killing them both. Paton and his wife prayed all night, asking God to strengthen their faith. At dawn, they were amazed to see their attackers simply turn and leave.  A year later, the chief of that tribe became a Christian. Paton asked him what had kept him and his men from killing them that night. The chief answered with a question, "Who were all those men with you?" Paton answered, "There was no one with us. My wife and I were all alone." The chief said they had seen hundreds of men standing guard, big men in shining garments with drawn swords. God is not only able to answer our prayer of faith, He delights in doing so. The problem is that we don't always like His answers.

As a fisherman, Peter knew all about boats and storms. However, I feel safe in saying that Peter had probably never tried walking on any kind of water, much less tempestuous water. It didn't matter. Jesus said, "Come." Jesus wrapped a world of truth in that one word. Strength for every trial, faith for every storm, courage for every conflict, the promise of His presence and absolutely everything we need to obey is promised to those who are willing to leave the safety of the boat and "come" to Jesus.God never forces us into obedience. He invites us to obey and leaves the choice to us.

Peter chose obedience when he slipped off his sandals, hitched up his robe and climbed over the side of that boat. Peter left the "known" behind and stepped through his fear in a radical faith that pleased God. Peter then did what we all have done at some point in life. He took his eyes off Jesus. And when he began to sink, Peter cried out in fear. I love the fact that Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed the flailing hand of Peter. I would probably have let the doubting disciple sink like a stone to teach him a lesson. Not Jesus. Grace covered it all - the storm, the sin and Peter's plea for rescue. Love heard Peter's cry. Mercy saved him.

What about you, friend? Are you trapped in a storm, clinging to the sides of a rocking boat and wondering where God is and why He is silent? Is your heart in the grip of fear and doubt? Cry out to God. Take one step of faith, and He will meet you there.

Heart Check: Matthew 6:21 - February 15, 2011

"Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be."  ~*Matthew 6:21 (NLT)*~

What is it that consumes my life?  What drives my mind, sustains my soul, motivates my heart, and controls my every belief, though, emotion, and action?  What am I living for?  What am I working toward?  What goal am I running after?  What fuels and drives me?  What is the purpose of life?  What am I doing with my life?  What do I want to do with my life?  In the eyes of those around me, how am I living my life?  How do my motives, words, and actions affect those around me?  Am I doing everything in my power to live a biblical, obedient life to God?  Do I allow what people say to me affect me?  Is it worth getting upset, excited, or down about?

Overwhelmed yet?  (or maybe just bored... I don't know)

A word of warning: those of you who know me pretty well will know I enjoy brutal honesty and tough love and I have no problem dishing it out from time to time.  Don't worry, I do this to myself before I even BEGIN to type or even think about posting such things.  I'm moved to share some of my random, rambling thoughts with you and have debated on whether or not to do it, partly because I don't think people read these things and it's a waste of my time even putting it up here... but also because I don't want to offend anybody.  Of course, I'm doing it so we'll see if it was a good idea or not.  Please don't let any of what I write offend you.  If you have some concern over what I say, let me know.  It's pretty much all opinion...... from my heart. 

All of this is written from a recent heart-check.  I've been convicted and have called myself out on all of it (and am still doing so).  It's all from the Holy Spirit convicting me on thoughts, emotions, and actions.  We all need a reminder every now and then.  We all need a heart-check.  I've needed several and recently God has delivered them through some pretty difficult situations as well as some pretty small and unimportant happenings.  I think you'll see what I mean and pray you understand my thoughts and convictions.  I will admit this whole rambling of my thoughts just happened to occur with KU losing to K-State last night.  My heart-check came when I realized how upset I was about something that should not be so significant to me.  It came when I realized that I was upset about some form of entertainment not fulfilling my expectations for a day.

So what are some of the answers?  The questions above have been racing through my mind all day... so I may have kept a journal throughout my work day today, jotting notes here and there in between approving art files for production.  Matthew 6:21 is definitely the verse of the day for me.  What is my heart set on?  Are you set on Earth or Eternity?  Do I have my heart set on higher things, greater and more important things than the things of this earth?  I hope that I can say that my heart isn't set on a basketball game or a specific team or my job.  I caught myself last night and I don't want my heart set on those things but sometimes we just get caught up in it all and I understand that.  I refocused and that was the heart-check:  My heart is set on God, his love for me and in me, and how that may affect those around me.  This also just HAPPENED to be the devotional for February 15th in"My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers.  It talked about being my brother's keeper, but more importantly how the way we act and speak to those around us affect them spiritually.

I have all of these thoughts and a few more that have come to the surface.  Part of it is courtesy to the class I'm taking "Perspectives on the World Christian Movement."  The rest of it is courtesy to Ol' KU and a basketball game gone wrong, believe it or not (It's one of very few that ends wrong in my eyes).  I wondered how the result of a game could affect me and realized how consumed we become in such small, irrelevant things in life.  What is even more silly to me is how we are consumed by things that we have no real control over at all, such as the outcome of a college basketball game and how players play in that game.  I thought about how much people trash talk each other and a team they really have nothing to do with. 

I have to bite my tongue and 95% of the time I do a great job.  That other 5% came out in a message to a friend pointing out why smack talk irritates me.  To me it is a great thought though and may cause you to think a little bit as well.  Ponder this:  How much of the world would be evangelized if we spent as much energy and air on telling unreached people about Jesus as we do smack talking one another over something insignificant that we play no real part in?  I'm calling myself out on this too so, really, please take no offense to it.  If we had as much passion and energy spent on missions and evangelism as we do for cheering on "our team" or trash talking, how many unreached people groups would have been reached by now?  Think about it.  Isn't there some truth to that?  It gets on my nerves sometimes how much passion WE (myself included) have towards sports/entertainment in our society.  What would happen if we had that much passion for aids awareness in Africa or for putting an end to sex trafficking of young girls and woman in places like Thailand or India?  Wouldn't that be awesome?  Think about it.  I know I have.

Then I also think about how we treat each other and the things we say to each other in regards to such unimportant things.  How Biblical is that?  We can find out by looking in Hebrews, Ephesians, James, and Proverbs pretty quickly.  We don't have to look far intoHebrews to see how words give and take away life and how our tongue is sharp like a double-edged sword (ch 4 verses 12-13).  We don't have to look far into Ephesians to see that we are only supposed to speak words that build up, not tear down (ch 4 verse 29).  We can find how to tame our tongue in James (ch 3 verses 1-12).  Proverbs also refers to words as swords, but also bringing healing (ch 12 verse 18).  I'm nowhere near perfect, but honestly it's a great thing to think about.

I want to live my life the way God wants me to live (I hesitate to say the way God EXPECTS me to live).  What does that look like?  Pretty sure the Bible paints a pretty detailed and vivid picture through us.  God send His son as a PAYMENT for the WRONGS that WE have done.  How are we supposed to live?  We are supposed to live how God wants us to live.  We have this tendency, as humans, to try to make God the way we want God to be.  A lot of us pray expected granted wishes.  God isn't a wish granting genie, but He does answer prayers.  They may not be answered the way we want them to be or how we expect them to be but that is the beauty and adventure of God.  We wouldn't have to look far for the answers to many of our questions.  A friend and I discussed a pretty cool thought:  If there is a decision to be made, ask yourself what the Bible says.  There is an answer in the Bible.  There has always been an answer there, we just haven't always looked for it or we don't like what the Bible says because it doesn't say what we want it to say.  It isn't possible for us to live perfectly but it is possible for us to follow Jesus and live with a purpose.  It is possible to line our lives and purpose up with that of the Biblical truths that Jesus taught and gave to us.  How do we know if something is "right" in God's eyes?  Truthfully, we won't know until we meet Him face to face.  I can't give you an answer but I can point you to the Word and you can seek it for yourself.

Are we living life with the purpose of following Christ?  Will God take care of us?  I've been asked lately what I want to do with my life.  It didn't necessarily become a reality to me until my mentor mentioned something the last time I met with her.  It set off alarms but also made my heart smile because the thought of it...... it is what I want to do with my life.  BUT the question is, how do you tell your parents you want to be a missionary when you grow up?  Who really does that?  How do you expect them to react?  I've wondered what I am doing with my life, why am I still in Manhattan, and what does God want me to do.  I want to work for God.  He is my boss.  He is also my provider.  What does that look like, to have God be the one in control of your life?  I don't know.  So far, I've seen Him open doors here in Manhattan.  I haven't been able to get a job anywhere else even though I've applied for a ridiculous amount.  I'm not even going to give you a number it is so ridiculous.  The only opportunities have popped up in good old Manhattan, KS.  God has planted roots for me here.  I have a spiritual family and church community that I love.  He's blown doors open for me to share Him with people at my job.  Will life continue to look like this for me?  Probably not but only God truly knows the answer to that question.  I'm okay with that most days.  He will take care of me and that is TRUTH (like the kind you find in the Bible).

Do you have your sights set on eternity or the short amount of time we spend here on earth?  A good friend used the comparison of life to that of a vapor:  one minute it's here, the next it's not.  Life on earth is like a vapor compared to all of eternity.  Do we set our sites on the beauty of our Lord and the life He offers or that of materialism here on earth?  How are you living your life?  What things have a hold on your heart?  I pray for a heart check for all of us very often.  Is your living lining up with what God defines as obedience in the Bible?  I answered "for the most part I guess".  If your answer is similar, check your heart to see what is keeping you from following completely.  (FYI:  just because it is in the Bible doesn't mean it is easy.  It will be quite difficult but definitely worth it). 

My prayer is that God does a number on each of our hearts, that the Holy Spirit moves in us and convicts us to reprioritize our lives.

Where did you bury your treasure?  That's where your heart is going to be.  Think about it.

I Love Fruit - October 5, 2010

A little long but meaningful!!! :)


~*Galatians 5:16-26*~
            “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.  For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for those are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.  Now the works of the flesh are evident:  sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.  I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
            If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”


Works of the flesh:
            "Now the works of the flesh are evident:  sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these."~*Galatians 5:19-21*~
            Definition:  I don't really know how to define all of these other than things that we shouldn't do and that are spiritually unhealthy.  Feel free to look the definitions up if you are unclear on them :)

For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.” ~*Romans 7:15-18*~


Fruit of the Spirit:
1.)    Joy the emotion of great delight or happiness by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation
2.)    Peace:  freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquility; serenity 
3.)    Patience:  an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay; quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence 
4.)    Kindness:  kind favor; friendly feeling; liking 
5.)    Goodness:  moral excellence; kindness; generosity; excellence of quality; strength 
6.)    Faithfulness:  true to one’s word, promises, vows, etc; steady in allegiance of affection; loyal; constant; reliable; trusted; believed 
7.)    Gentleness:  kindly; amiable; not severe, rough, or violent; mild; refined 
8.)    Self-Control:  control or restraint of oneself or one’s actions, feelings, emotions, etc. 
9.)    Love:  “God demonstrates his own love for us in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” ~*Romans 5:8*~
                      “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” ~*1 Corinthians 13:13*~
 (definitions from www.dictionary.com or are verses from the Bible)



Passages to think about:

~*Romans 7:14-25*~ “We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.”

("The Law" is the law of God which is good.  The problem stated by Paul about himself (and that of all believers (1 Corinthians 3:1-3)) is we are sold to sin.  Even though we are believers, we continue to fall short of God's moral standards (Romans 3:23).  Being fleshly means there is a conflict that mystifies us as believers and we may not understand it (thus the mystery).  We find ourselves defeated, not doing what we want to do, but doing the things we hate to do: sin.  The battle between two identites in the believer is:  first, we acknowledge that the law of God is good and the second is that the sin within produces evil.  The problem is in the flesh there is nothing good.  The will is the desire to do good yet we are lacking the ability to perform that.  The delight in the law of God causes believers in Christ to want to line up with the the new nature God has given.  The law of sin rejects the portion of the mind that seeks after God.  That sin seeks to draw us away from God's work in us.  There is victory through Christ who delivers us from the flesh (2 Corinthians 5:17)).


~*Galatians 2:20*~ “I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”


~*John 15:1-16*~
 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.”


(and I could go on and on and on and on.................)
(If you didn't figure this out in the process of reading:  Bolded is Scripture (or pulled from Scripture).  Not bolded are my thoughts or definitions not pulled from the Bible) 

Comfort In His Name - October 3, 2010

Comfort in His Name
By: Sharina Marie Schaller
Written: 10/03/2010

Heal this shattered heart, oh God, and hug away my hurt.
Kiss away these worries, dear Lord, and bless me with your words.
Heal me with your truth, oh God, and hug away my pain.
Kiss away my pride, dear Lord, for there is comfort in your name.

Keep me honest and humble, oh God.  You alone are worth living for.
Strike down my pride and conceit, dear Lord.  For me the love of Christ outpoured.
Kill the perceptions and lies around me, God.  You are the bread of life.
Keep me in your Word, dear Lord.  It’s not my own will that I should seek but yours alone to be done.


~*Psalm 73:26*~ "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

My "ah-ha" Moment Finale - December 13, 2009

Deb and I continue talking about God and I how feel about Him. I tell her how the week before felt like punishment to me, like I had done something wrong and that I was so blinded by the thought of God punishing me I just couldn’t see how He loved me. At the end we sat and prayed a silent prayer waiting for God to talk to us. Waiting and listening for God to speak just like when he tells us to be still in Psalm 46. I felt weird and all I could do is sit and cry and think of how awkward I felt. Then Deb shared what come to her: Psalm 18:1-19. She walked me through the passage and how God is jealous for me, how He loves me and how angry He is when evil takes its place in our lives; not that He is angry with me but the evil, then how He is our rescuer and that He delights in me.

My turn: The song that popped into my head was “How He Loves.” She went on to share how God is in love with me ad how God doesn’t punish us. Then Deb says something to me that I had seen written on a packet my friend gave me the week before: “God doesn’t DO it, but He ALLOWS it.” Light-bulb comes on! She continues, “Sharina, He doesn’t cause the bad things in our life to happen, but he allows it to happen so we can grow and learn to trust him. It helps build the endurance and perseverance talked about in James 1 (a passage Rae so kindly told me to read and think about just a short week before). He loves you dear. He is jealous for you and loves you.” End of conversation. Still didn’t sink in; I’m still blinded by my frustration and may actually have felt more frustrated leaving than I did arriving to our meeting.

Wednesday goes by in a flash. I know that I was anti-social at work. Really I was just having difficulties sorting through my thoughts. It was a beautiful day outside, I was easily distracted at the thought of texting my roommate about going on a walk that evening but I ended up not doing it. I figured she probably had better things to do. Ends up she asked me to go on a walk with her and one of the other roommates. We go and admire the beautiful colors of fall. When we get back to the house I apologize for being anti-social and not answering her question the night before about my meeting with Deb. I proceed to break down and spill my frustration through tears to her. She is so stinkin awesome and has been on the receiving end of these conversations with me so many times before. I spend the evening at home and do something I haven’t done in a while: play the guitar and sing my heart out to Jesus.

Fast forward to Thursday. Roommate Alyssa and I arrive home from work and chit-chat, not about my frustrations or her’s but just talk about random things that lead off on a tangent to some other random topic. We work our way through food discussions and family and how she is going to have two sets of triplets just because right now she wants to adopt… I tell her God may have other plans for her and what would she do if it was triplets? Somehow the conversation turned to my inability to let go of my past and let God control my life. Somehow my inability to trust God ended up as an analogy of me being like a snapping turtle: The only way to get me to let go is to cut off my head. I have to die to myself before I can trust God.

I head off to Navs not remembering what the topic for the evening was going to be and I was too lazy to look at the email. OH WELL!! Pastor Ratliff from Faith E Free starts his talk on…:: DRUM ROLL::… the jealousy of God! He talks through Exodus 20 and the second commandment. Verse 5 sticks out a little bit “…for I the Lord your God am a jealous God…:. We move next to Hosea. Ratliff talks about how Hosea’s jealousy for Gomer, the prostitute God told him to take as his wife and marry. He explains the parallels of Hosea’s love for Gomer to God’s love of Israel. Hosea’s jealousy for Gomer pushed him to BUY HER BACK after she had gone and betrayed him. The Pastor continues to work his way through Hosea and how God is jealous for us. He is jealous enough that He PAID FOR US WITH THE BLOOD OF HIS OWN SON!!! The final set of scripture: 2 Corinthians 11—we are the Bride of Christ. God betrothed us to Jesus and is worth being faithful to. Verse 2 says “…I feel a divine jealousy for you…”. The worship squad takes the stage and the first song they play: How He Loves. Seeing a theme yet? God doesn’t want to punish me. He has an affection for me that nothing and nobody else can stop from being shown or show me.

Friday night was my friend’s birthday party. I feel bad because they were going to Old Chicago’s to celebrate but I need to stop eating out and can’t afford to go. He says he understands. My friend Rachel finds out, offers to pay for my supper, and then I kind of want to cry. We have a blast at Old Chicago. I was invited to a Halloween party but don’t go because I need to think through some things. While I’m sitting at my house that night I’m looking at some pictures a friend is selling to raise money for a little girl in Africa. I get to the one I really like and am contemplating buying it when I notice the verse written on it.

1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

I sleep on it, not sure what to think. I’m only able to think of how exhausted I suddenly feel so I go to bed. God, are you trying to tell me something? I wake up Saturday morning and receive a slightly unexpected call from Ghana Africa from my friend Benedict. I miss Benedict and his loudness and the way he prays. He asks if he can pray for me. I get a dose of his prayer and passion for Jesus and realize that my day has started out with a true blessing. A few hours later I receive yet a SECOND call from Ghana from my friend Sampson, asking how I’m doing and to check up on me: one more blessing to start my day. While talking to my friends Paul and Jordan on Facebook it then dawns on me. Paul and I are discussing the past few days and I begin having my little, but not so little, epiphany. Both of us, almost at the same time, say we think God is trying to tell me something. I then realize God is SHOWING me. God answered, and is still answering (months later) my prayer, “God, can you show me?”

Moral of the story: God loves me and He is jealous for me. He is jealous for all of us, we just don’t always know how to accept His jealousy and love for us. There is going to be a struggle, it says so all over the Bible (some passages I’ve recently read through: Psalm 18, 1 Peter (everywhere), 2 Corinthians 1, and James (everywhere)). Pray for me and this emotional/mental/spiritual battle. Pray for yourself and for other people who have/are/will feel the way that I’ve felt: like God is punishing them. Pray He reveals His love and mercy to you and them the way He has to me. He loves us friends, with an unfathomable and uncontrollable love that we will NEVER understand. Thank you!!!

~Sharina Marie

My "ah-ha" Moment: Part 2 - November 22, 2009

A few weeks ago God rocked my world. He used Main Event, the entire weekend and everything that happened, to rock my world. He used one (or two… or three or four) of my best friends in changing my life; He used them in different ways to tell me what I didn’t want to hear. That’s the way it usually happens, isn’t it? The things we want to hear the least are the things we need to hear the most, just like the things we don’t want to do the most of all are the things we NEED to do most of all. In the end, through never being able to process my thoughts, through getting frustrated with people complaining about life (and ignoring how much I do it myself), it was a conversation with two of my best guy friends and a picture of a butterfly with the verse 1 John 4:18 that capped off my week and solidified the thought of how much God loves me. It was those moments that I was directed to every other time last week that I’ve heard how much God isn’t punishing me, that in reality He loves me and is jealous for me.

It was that Thursday night that I prayed (feeling selfish for this) that God would show me how much He loved me. I asked him, not realizing that he had already done it multiple times in multiple ways. A few weeks ago (now about a month and a half ago) I left Main Event feeling quite pathetic. I felt like a failure. I felt that way though because I had failed at fixing the issues in my life, whether those issues were mine to deal with or not. I had failed at making things right in relationships. All in all, after a long talk with my BFF Rae, I felt like I failed at life so badly that I had to have a professional help me fix it. (Rae by no means made me feel like a failure. If anything, the girl builds me up more than I ever thought anybody could….. Not to boost my ego but to make me realize how beautiful God is and that I’m a daughter of the King!!!).

I really do have to have a professional help me but not to help me FIX me. I have one now mentoring me on my walk with Christ. God gave me a person to help me sort through my issues of the past, somebody who knows how to point me to Him, to tell me how much He loves me. I took a giant leap forward in deciding to seek help. It’s been a fight with the sisters who love me to get me to go seek the advice of an elder. After Rae and I talked through life, I felt good about the decision I had made. I felt like I was back on the right path; the path on my journey towards Christ.

Nothing could stop me now. I had accountability in four of my best friends who I knew wouldn’t let me back down and out this time. Nothing could go wrong now because I had done something right for once. Nothing could go wrong… until I landed in the ER that Tuesday because my blood sugar was 125 points above comatose level. Nothing could go wrong until everything went wrong the rest of that week. I felt good and right for like, oh, 24 hours and from there I went downhill. I was back to feeling punished again.

I started back on the negatives without focusing on the positives. I was in the ER… BUT I made it there alive and conscious and walking by myself and had a friend who was willing to miss class to take me there, another who came a few hours later with flowers for me that cheered me up, and roommates who came and picked me up and taxied me back and forth to Wal-Mart at various points throughout the night after being released from the hospital. More positives there than negatives.

I was frustrated when I found out the doctor prescribed me medication that contained sulfa in it even though I told them three or four times I was allergic to sulfa (Dana can vouch for that). BUT… I have a roommate who freaked out and didn’t want me to go into anaphylactic shock, got up ON TIME Wednesday morning to make sure I was alive (on time usually doesn’t happen). I have a mother (and that roommate) who made me call the doctor to schedule a follow-up and who gets upset when I don’t ask questions. Soooooo….. I asked questions, got off the sulfa drugs and what do I get? I now have to stick myself with a needle anywhere from one to four times a day because my body doesn’t produce insulin the way it should and I have a pancreas that hates me. Hey, it is how God made me so don’t hate, right? BUT I’ve lost 40 pounds in the past 10 months because of it, have to be healthier, and will live longer courtesy of insulin. I have the ability to stay alive thanks to the needles that I’m scared of. More positives than negatives there. And yet, all I could do was focus on how much it costs me to live. I could only focus on how crappy I felt and wondered why I felt like God was punishing me.

I met with a friend that following Saturday night after taking pictures of the amazingly beautiful colors of fall. We talked about how I felt like God was punishing me for something and how I felt like I lacked a passion in my heart for Him. “I know in my head I love Him but I don’t feel it in my heart. He’s not comfortable there.” I have a friend who is willing to take time out of her crazy college kid schedule and meet with me once a week to work through a book called “He Loves Me” by Wayne Jacobson, talking about exactly what I’m going through.

I was frustrated about meeting with a counselor. When that Tuesday came, I can honestly say that I strongly disliked my best friends for “making” me go. I went and sat there, waiting for my “turn”. As awkward as it was already, the guy working the receptionist’s desk was a previous small group leader of mine from Main Event the first year I attended the conference. I sat there nervously waiting, slightly embarrassed at the thought that he may be thinking I am going crazy and that’s why I’m meeting with Deb. I go and sit in the office, unsure of where to start, wondering if she just expects me to start talking of if she is going to ask questions. But God provided. I started spilling my past: relationships that were verbally and emotionally abusive, addictions I tried to fill my life and the huge hole in my soul with. I spilled my fear of being alone the rest of my life, how I was worried that someday I would not be needed by anybody or scared that I would never be “special” to anybody. “I’ve tried to fix myself even though I know that I can’t and that only God can,” I tell her.

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and now you get to wait in suspense until I find a time where I am awake and alert enough to finish this :)